alwaysroomforhope | (no subject)

(no subject)

Steph .......... hurts.

For some time, that is all she knows. Oh, there's some other stuff going on, machines beeping and people talking a lot and gunfights outside, and sometimes when she opens her eyes the sky is flame-coloured, but that stops after a while.

Eventually there's more to the world than hurt, though. Like the vague realisation that she's hungry, and that she has too many tubes and wires attached to her for comfort.

And that she's not dead after all. Which is a nice realisation to come to, because somehow she had been absolutely sure that she'd died. A long time ago. But here she is, and she hurts way too much to be dead now. So ... that's okay, then.

She's just not really sure what happens next.

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There's a blonde woman in leather sitting at her bedside.

"Hey," says she. "You're awake."

Well done, Dinah.

Steph absorbs this new information, processes it carefully, and is quite pleased to discover that it's true.

"App-- ugh." Her throat feels gross. "Apparently. You ...?"

"...have been told that when this happens you'll want some water," Dinah says, turning away to a carrafe and glass on the table covered in pill bottles and assorted hospital paraphrenalia.

"There're drugs too. So let me know when you start coming out of that morphine haze and I'll knock you out."

Steph considers this, too, and eventually nods gratefully.

"Don't want to wake up properly," she mutters, guiltily. "All this is - my fault."

If she stays curled up in the nice, friendly haze, she doesn't have to actually think about that. And if she doesn't think about it, then she can keep talking to Dinah without that whole crushing guilt thing.

"No, Stephanie, it's Bruce's fault."

Here, Steph, have somne water. Dinah will do the tipping glass nursing thing if she has to.

"And I know he knows this 'cause he won't return my calls."

Steph makes a couple of valiant attempts to fend for herself, but eventually submits to the tipping nursing thing. It's just easier.

Dinah isn't making any sense, so Steph lets that go. She's suddenly worried about how her face feels when she tries to frown. All -- weird. Tight and sore and --

The scalpel. Her own screams.

-- oh.

"Bruce - did he ... visit?" She sort of remembers, but - it feels like it was all years and years ago. Not just yest -- last we- -- last month -- oh, whenever.

"No," Dinah admits.

"He will. But he's got a lot on." As does Oracle, who has retired to somewhere to continue her damage control.

"Oh." Steph closes her eyes again, briefly. Of course he does. He's got a lot of cleaning up to do, because of --

That isn't productive.

"Dinah? Is - is my face ... ?"

"It's still your face," Dinah says gently, brushing what blonde hair is available between bandages.

... that bad. Steph takes a careful breath, leaning just a little into Dinah's friendly touch. It makes her think of -

"My mom?"

It just seems such a long, long time since she saw her. It can't have been very long, but it feels like it.

"And ... and Tim? Are they --?"

She shakes her head. "Barbara's trying to track down your Mom, but we wanted to know what we should tell her."

"I don't know." Steph doesn't want to go back to the real world ever again. Ever. She would much prefer to just stay floaty and hallucinate a little and talk to Dinah, who at least seems to know all the details already and doesn't seem to blame her for any of it. Weird, but very comforting.

"... seems like ages since I've seen her, anyway. Or ... or Tim."

Dinah pauses, trying not quite successfully to remember how this is supposed to go down.

"How long would you say?" she asks, vaguely.

"I ..."

Years? But it can't be. She knows enough about the human body to know she couldn't be feeling like this years afterwards. Besides, people would be more excited about her waking up if she'd been - yeah

"... weeks?" she guesses, blinking up at Dinah and the haze of fluorescent lighting.

This gives Dinah some information, but it also confirms the way she's been living this past year or so of knowing Spoiler -she's not the Steph she knows from Milliways.

She smiles. "You've been out a few hours."

Steph is aware that, once she wakes up a bit more, things will seem a lot more awful. She'll have to remember, for a start. They'll want to know.

Now it isn't so bad, just lying still and letting things happen. Except that thoughts keep turning up. "Orpheus," she says, suddenly remembering, eyes wide with panic. "Dinah, he's - does Bruce know?"

"Steph," Dinah says, again gently. She's aware of Orpheus by reputation and hadn't realised anything had happen to him, but now's not the time to process it. "He knows. He's Bruce. It's OK."

Steph isn't convinced, and the beeping of the heart monitor doesn't slow.

But she's remembering more things now, more and more, and none of them are - pleasant. Not even a little bit.

"He doesn't know everything," she whispers, voice thick and trembly. "Dinah? I think I'd like some more of the - whatever it is now."

"OK."

Woo, pills.

"Dr. Tompkins says they'll have a sedative effect as well. So if you start to feel sleepy again, that's why."

"Good," Steph says, and forces a smile for Dinah. "'S good."

It is good. At least, for now. And that's all that matters.

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