alwaysroomforhope | OOM: Things They Will Regret In The Morning.

Ed catches the pack, and sets it on the counter. He's sitting on one of the stools next to the bar.

He eyes the cans, warily. He really has no idea what to do with these. They're enough of a distraction that he doesn't make a comment about the place's name, yet.

Steph looks at him, and at the cans, and a smile sneaks onto her face.

"They're drink cans. See, the little pull-tab at the top? You just pop that down to open it. But! Make sure you shake it up heaps first, otherwise it won't be properly mixed."

She contemplates telling him to make sure he's got his eyes close to the opening, too ... but that'd probably be a bit too cruel.

Only just.

Ed has no idea what he's getting himself into. He has no reason to suspect her whatsoever.

So he shakes the thing, and pulls the tab.

And is given a very spectacular display of why he shouldn't have.

He goes: o______________o.

Steph nearly falls off the counter. Super-Sniggering overpowers Bat-Balance!

"Oh, Hep. You really shouldn't believe everything strange girls tell you."

She eyes her own can, and then lifts it and attempts to skol the entire thing.

Ed shakes the can in her general direction, attempting to get some liquid on her.

"You suck," he informs her, with feeling.

"Yeah, I really do," Steph agrees meekly. "You just can't take me anywhere. OH WAIT. YOU DIDN'T."

She giggles, and reaches for the next can.

Ed lets the can fall, and grabs another. He eyes it warily, before opening it properly this time.

He downs it quickly.

"I took you here, didn't I?" Or maybe she took him. One of those.

"Oh, honey. You never call, you never write..." Steph giggles. "I live here. It doesn't count unless you asked if I wanted to see your etchings."

"I don't have any etchings, so I don't think that would work."

Ed eyes his poor alchohol attacked clothing, and ponders something Lust had told him earlier. That maybe alchemy would work here, even if it didn't at home. Even if he's afraid to try it, it's too tempting to it - so even at the risk of looking insane, he claps his hands, and then touches his clothes.

And they dry.

......

He positively beams.

Steph's eyes go big.

"DUDE. You didn't tell me you could work magic!"

She scrambles down, a bit unsteadily, and touches his shirt to check.

"Wow."

"It's not magic," Ed says, defensive of it, even in his glee. "It's alchemy."

And he can do it. He couldn't, but he can do it, and he is waay too happy, but he doesn't mind, because alchemy!

"It looks a lot like magic to me!" Steph hiccups. "Do the carpet. ...Can you?"

"I can!" Ed claps his hands again and touches the carpet, drying it. He then grabs another can and drinks that up, in celebration.

"That is totally awesome," Steph breathes, in awe. "What else can you do?"

Yep, certainly calls for a drink. She's on her third can already.

"Depends on what you want," Ed says, his eyes and pupils a little bit too big and bright. Maybe it's due to the drink, or maybe it's due to the rediscovery of alchemy; it's like learning to breath again, after months of choking.

"There's rules, of course, but..."

"You can do anything?" Steph stares, and gulps down the rest of her can. "Wow, I'm never letting you go!" She sits cross-legged on the just-dried carpet.

"I can't do anything," Ed says, and plops down beside her. "There's rules. Like I can't make gold."

He could, but it's forbidden, and he's not exactly out to break that rule anytime soon.

"But I can change things." He ponders, and reachs out, taking a strand of her hair. "Like hair colour."

He lets his hand drop.

Steph staaaares. It's red! It matches her Robin uniform! It's soooo preeeetty.

She picks up his hand and stares at it. "That is one awesome weapon."

"Yeah. 'Cept I'm done being a dog of the military. So it's not a weapon anymore."

Unless he has to protect someone. In which case, well. Nothing is barred.

Steph puts his hand down in order to grab another drink.

"Military don't have dogs. You can't have pets in the army." She hiccups, and giggles.

"I wasn't a pet," Ed says, narrowing his eyes before drinking some of another can as well.

He pauses, though.

"Wouldn't be surprised if Mustang had thought I was," he says, finally.

"Oh, Hep." Steph pats his shoulder. "I bet he didn't. 'N if he did, we'll to'lly beat him up."

Another sip.

"You'd be cute pet." She ruffles his hair.

"Only if you feed me," Ed mumbles, and eyes her hair speculatively. Needs more red, or needs to be fixed; but he doesn't feel like the latter right now. So he reachs out and runs his hand through her hair.

Steph giggles. It's all red! It's shiny!

"Ba'man would'n' approve," she tells him, shaking it out and beaming. "But I like."

"Let Batman disapprove. I can just do his."

Ed has no idea what he says.

The thought reduces Steph to helpless giggles. She lets herself fall back to lie on the floor - easier than sitting upright - and laughs and laughs and laughs.

"That," she manages, "I would love to see!"

"...why's it so funny?"

Ed has no idea whether or not to be offended by all the laughing. So he decides to look offended.

Which is even funnier. Steph grabs his arm to pull herself back upright. "Hef - Hip - ED ELRIC. You have NO IDEA. Dying Batman's hair?" More giggles. "That's like, like, like Jason's. Never gonna happen!"

"Could dye Jason's," Ed says, more defensively. "Just give me a time and place."

"Nope. No way. No no no no no no no." Steph is far, far too amused.

"Although ... it'd be pretty." She touches the red in her hair happily. "Jason'd like this. I miss Jason." She looks downcast.

"I'm better than him," Ed says, even though he knows nothing about the guy whatsoever. He just... knows it. Yeah.

"So you don't gotta worry about that."

"Are not," Steph responds promptly. "Jason rocks. He's even been dead. And he's got pretty scars."

"I've been dead too," Ed says, "Three times. And I have scars."

So what else has the guy got?

Steph eyes Ed through distinctly unfocused eyes. "He's got black hair. And pretty mask. And he's good kisser."

She reaches for the vodka, even though it's pretty clear at this point that that's the last thing she needs.

Ed blinks, and then looks more than a little grumbley at that.

"So what," he says, finally. Not mentioning the fact he hasn't kissed anyone in his whole damn life.

"So, you're not better'n him," Steph says, as if it's a self-evident truth. She drinks, and offers him the can. "Nobody is."

"I bet I could be if I tried."

Ed drains the can. And has possibly had too much to drink, now.

"All I gotta do is try!"

Steph eyes him. And - at which point it's pretty clear they've both had far too much to drink - leans towards him and tilts her face up. "I dare ya."

....even in a normal case, daring Ed to do anything would be a very bad thing to do. But when Ed is drunk, and therefore not capable of thinking anything through, and remembering that Jason = boyfriend = this is a bad thing?

Yeah. It's probably the worst thing of all to dare him, because he'll actually follow through.

"....FINE," he says, a bit too loudly, and leans in to press his lips against hers.

And this is a really bad time to remember about Duo mentioning something known as 'cooties', but the notion is totally unscientific. Right?

Steph hasn't kissed anyone for ages. It's almost enough to make her forget that this isn't actually her boyfriend.

Which is gonna be a problem in the morning, but right now, consequences and reactions are far from her mind.

Plus, Ed's hot.

So she snuggles into him and doesn't stop kissing him.

And Ed totally forgets the concept of cooties now, because it's very irrelevant. Kissing is apparently way better than thinking about that, and he's not going to stop if she's not.

Well, you gotta come up for air sometime.

Maybe.

Eventually.

Some time soon.

Like, this century, preferably.

*stares pointedly at pups*

...ah, yeah, there we go.

Steph breaks off the kiss to smile at him. "Not bad, hotshot... but Jay's bett'r," she mumbles snarkily, inasmuch as one can mumble snarkily. (It'd be pure snark if her teeth weren't numb from alcohol... and if she could keep her eyes open.)

"....bet he's not!" Ed says defiantly, but quickly forgets what he's angry about. Because, well, drunk.

And now sleeping sounds a lot better.

"Tired," he says, as if it's the strangest notion of all.

"Good," Steph informs him, because if he's tired, he's not likely to be moving. "You comfy."
And she's not planning on getting up, mostly because she's not sure she's actually capable of it at the moment, so she's happy for him to stay where she can sleep on him.

Except - "Move y'r leg."

It's metal. Not comfy.

"Don't want to," Ed grumbles, but does it anyway.

And if she wants him to move it elsewhere, it's a lost cause, because he's totally conked out now.

Nah, there's good. Steph shoves his metal arm a bit aside and rests her head on his stomach, and promptly follows his example.

OOM: Things They Will Regret In The Morning.

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