alwaysroomforhope | OOM: Cheer Up, Emo Steph

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OOM: Cheer Up, Emo Steph

Steph's on the balcony, lying along the rail like a cat, resting her head on her hands and staring down at the iced-over lake below. One leg's wound through the railings to keep her from falling off. Her face is almost hidden in the hood of her oversized jacket - hey, you gotta keep warm somehow.

Back inside, the door's standing open, and from the corridor outside passers-by can see through the french windows out to the balcony, should they be so inclined.

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Dick is inclined.

And soon enough, she's joined by a brother who is balancing himself with a handstand on the same railing.

"So, you moved."

"Yeah," Steph says, without looking up. "Ed needed someone keeping an eye out for him." And so did I, she doesn't add, because you don't. Not to Dick.

"And is he keeping watch over you?"

Dick balances on one hand, and uses the other to poke at her.

"And who is Ed?"

Steph doesn't react to the poking except with a half-irritated shrug. "You haven't met him? Blonde, short, metal arm and metal leg, long hair, about my age."

She stares down at the lake. There are people skating on it. There are little flashes of light off their blades when the sun hits them right.

"He's been away all week, so no."

Dick gives her a strange look, and manuevers himself so he's sitting perched on the railing, instead.

"What's wrong?"

Obviously, something.

"Nothin'."

Pause. More watching of the lake and the forest and the sky.

"Barry's leaving."

Dick stiffens slightly.

"Why's he doing that?"

"He says it's time." That stilted half-shrug again. "Speed Force is calling him and he has to go do ... whatever dead speedsters do in the speed force, I don't know."

Steph sits up abruptly. "And I'm mad. I know it's not his fault and I know he's not doing it deliberately and I know he doesn't even wanna go, but that doesn't stop be being mad." She brushes her hand across her eyes sharply. "He's practically family. Family's not supposed to leave. They always leave, Dick, it's not fair!"

"Family doesn't always leave."

Dick understands how she feels, he's went through it more times than he can count. But he's not sure if saying that will help.

"I'm not leaving, am I?"

"But you will," Steph says, her voice catching slightly. "You're going to grow up and get old, and so's Mel and Ed and Jason and - and I'm going to be here, sixteen, for ever. Everyone leaves, and I'm just going to go on and on -" She screws up her face and clamps her hands over her mouth, taking deep, gulping breaths.

"Are you sure?"

Dick reachs over and lifts one strand of hair, before petting the rest of her hair a bit.

"I think I saw a grey one."

The sound Steph makes is more of a laugh than a sob. This is a good thing.

She bites her lip again. "I know it's stupid. I just - I know there's somewhere I'm supposed to go, Dick. In Gotham, when I was - lost, there's - there's a place to go to. And I - I'm scared. I don't know how to deal with it. Any of it. How come Barry can face it and still smile?"

"Maybe he's tired," Dick says, quietly. "Maybe he just feels it's the right time."

"Yeah," Steph says, sniffling a bit. "I know. I know he's not doing it to hurt me any more than he's doing it to hurt his wife here, or his other family. But ... people keep leaving, and ..."

I don't want to be left behind for ever, and I've already been left behind. Gotham's moved on. Batman's moved on. And now my new family's moving on too.

She slips off the rail and sits on the balcony floor, leaning back against the railings.

"...it sucks."

Dick slips off the rail as well, and tries to pull her into a hug.

"It's supposed to."

Steph sighs, and relaxes against him. A hug is exactly what she needed, even if she didn't know it. Brothers rock.

"Does it ever get any less sucky, Dick?"

"Things get better, eventually. They always do, if you give them the chance."

Dick doesn't always believe that, or remember it, but at least he can teach it.

Steph laughs, and it's only a little bitter. "The way you say it, I could almost believe it." She sits up and wipes her face, with a definite air of pulling herself together.

"I'm sorry. I just ... it's hard sometimes."

"Life is supposed to be hard. If it was easy, the better things wouldn't seem worth it anymore."

"Yeah."

Steph sighs.

"Don't tell Barry I'm such a mess, will you? He doesn't need me making it any harder on him. He's upset enough as it is."

"It's your place to tell him. But he should know you care about it, at least."

Steph nods - she agrees.

A deep breath.

"So... yeah."

Dick kisses her on the cheek.

"These things happen, but other people will come along as well. And you'll be just as glad for them."

"Thanks, Dick," Steph says, and this time when she smiles at him it's real.

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OOM: Cheer Up, Emo Steph

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